The secrets to happiness

I keep reading blogs and articles all titled "The 7 Secrets to Happiness" or some other number that someone thinks they figured out.  Although, I roll my eyes when I see yet another article with that title, but I can't help but read it because...well...I really want to know why other people have found out the secret to happiness and I haven't!

After many articles and through my life experience, I now know that there are no secrets to happiness.  Some people are just genetically happy ALL the TIME and lots of people find those people annoying.  Then there are some people that are trying to find a balance that works for them, but happiness is an ongoing struggle for many.  So, I have created my own list of what makes me happy:

1. Goal Setting. If I write down at least three goals for the day and I manage to get them done.  I am happy and feel like I have accomplished something.  It could be going grocery shopping.  Setting aside one to two hours to spend with my kids doing anything they want to do. Going to the Early Years Centre to get the kids out of the house for a couple hours and be around other kids.  Cleaning the house from top to bottom.  Being able to surf the net for an hour while my kids nap or are at school. Getting out of the house once a day, even for 15 minutes to get fresh air in the winter especially. Of course, my goals will change in the next year to work on a resume, hand out 10 a day, find daycare etc.

2. Eat Chocolate.  Have chocolate in the house because chocolate produces serotonin in your brain, the chemical responsible for feelings of happiness.  It also helps in between cleaning and playing with the kids.

3. Invite people over for dinner once in a while.  I like reaching out to people I have not spoken to in a while and asking them to come over for dinner.  We get to catch up.  I feel like the connection is not lost and we still care.  It is also nice to have company once in a while, especially if you are not the kind of person to have a lot of dinner dates.  It gives you an excuse to clean and to eat all you want to eat without guilt and makes the other person feel good because they realize your house is not perfect, your kids are not perfect, the dinner is not perfect, so we all feel good and comforted in the end.

4. Dancing. When I am alone with my kids and my husband is gone and no one is over, I like to dance.  I turn on youtube and dance to oldies and music my kids like such as gagnam style.  I used to love to swing dance, so I show some moves to my kids and it is a chance for us to get some exercise and just let go.  Dancing takes me away and I feel happy even if momentarily.

5. Art. I use to paint a lot before having kids.  I do not have that much uninterrupted time anymore.  So, I try to do an art project with the kids once in a while and include them in my desire to do some art. Although, my art work is not as good as it use to be, due to having limited time alone these days, it is fun and makes my kids and I feel good.  It gives us a sense of accomplishment.  It also gives my kids a chance to discover where there interests lie, make a mess and learn where their creativity takes them.

6. Volunteer. I don't volunteer anywhere right now.  However, when Markus was small, I volunteered at the employment centre, where I helped adults from Jamaica learn to read and write to find meaningful employment in Canada.  I loved it.  It made me feel helpful, hopeful and pride.  Giving to others feels good.  It also gets you out of the house once in a while, away from the kids and it could lead to other opportunities that you had never thought about before.

7. Time to yourself. I don't follow this advice.  But I do agree with it.  It is important to have balance between work and play and kids.  Even as a stay at home mom, I do feel replenished in the evenings if I get to take a bath alone as my husband watches them.  I enjoy reading a chapter of a book once the kids are in bed.  Or just being able to watch a movie or have a cup of tea with my husband gives me some me time and adult conversation.  I crave adult conversation at times and I can go days without getting it.  One of my goals should be to make time for myself at least once a week.  Set a day, where for a few hours in the evening, I can be alone to read, sleep, shop, bath, anything.

My list is pretty generic and has been mentioned before in other articles, but it is a compiled list that describes what I do and hope to do and gives me a small amount of satisfaction.  I do not believe there is a secret to happiness, but happiness is like having a relationship, it needs to be worked on and nurtured in order for it to grow and become a habit in daily life.

Norwalk Virus was in this house!!!

After three days of being sick, it is cleaning day.  It started on Sunday night when Markus woke up throwing up.  Shortly after we changed him, his sheets and the wall, I started to feel sick.  Tom actually slept on a mattress in the hallway near Markus.  Markus slept in the bathroom on his old baby mattress.  I slept in the other bathroom on a towel and Sonja slept in the bed.  She started throwing up around 3 am.  Tom was taking care of Markus was throwing up all night.  I was taking care of Sonja, but I was also throwing up all night and at a certain point, I just put towels over Sonja's vomit and let her sleep on the towels until morning.  It was Monday afternoon when Tom started throwing up.  I was doing laundry all day on Monday, yesterday and it continues today.  Tom is back at work today.  But, we have no energy.  I kept Markus home from school yesterday and from his karate classes.  So, tonight he is going to karate.  We all feel much better but our energy is low.  I am glad it is over with.  We got it from my nephew who brought it home from daycare.  My sister told me he was fine when we went to visit him on Saturday.  It spread like wildfire.  First my sister got it bad.  She was so dehydrated and with being pregnant, she had to stay the night in the hospital to get IV treatments.  Then my family got it at the same time.  Her husband now has it and so do her parents in law that have been staying with them.  This is all in the course of a week.  Today, is a day of tv watching for the kids, which I hate to do.  I always feel like a terrible mom if I put my kids in front of the tv all day.  But, I need to get cleaning done and get my energy up.  I could use a vacation!

I hope everyone is healthy and stays clear of this nasty virus.  It is awful.  Hopefully, no one gets it over the holidays.  Stay safe and healthy.