Happy 5th wedding Anniversary!

Five years ago today, Tom and I said "I do" at City Hall in Kitchener, in front of our eighteen guests.  My dad was there looking proud and my twin sister was there holding up the phone, so that mom could hear the service from Germany.  It was a nice sunny day, unlike today, where it is grey and raining.  It is hard to believe that now, we have a nearly five year old boy and a thirteen month old daughter and I feel overwhelmingly content with this family we have created together. 
We worked hard for it, admittedly so, we had a tough first year.  Four months after our wedding, I gave birth to Markus, the love of my life.  My mom lived in Germany and my Yoshe, my twin lived in Vancouver.  She had taken a year of absence from teaching to go with her husband to Vancouver for work.  I had a lot of conflict with Tom's parents and I felt all alone.  It was my first year not working.  Tom and I went to lots of counselling. I went to teachers college and struggled.  I got pregnant shortly afterwards.  My dad was hit by a van and in ICU, where he died, after we had moved to Milton to be closer to him and shortly after that, I gave birth to the most precious girl I had ever seen in my life.  This time, my mom and my sister and my husband were right by my side holding my hand.

Memories...Amidst this feeling of bliss and bewilderment that we have come so far, I know this week there has been a lot of tragedy and suffering in the world.  There were two bombs that went off at the Boston Marathon, shortly after 2pm.  I right away called a good friend that lives there, that I knew from high school.  She was covering it on the news.  She sounded just as shocked as I was, but I was glad to hear her voice and see that she was at work and that her husband and daughter were okay.  Three people lost their lives in the explosion, including an 8 yr old.  Many people lost limbs and their lives will be forever changed.  On the same day, there was also an explosion in Iraq and Syria, where many people lost their lives.  The next day, there was another explosion in Waco, Texas.  I have asked myself the question all week, why is there so much pain and suffering in the world?
I think that it could have been anyone and why would someone want to kill a mass of people? what kind of statement were these criminals trying to make?  Obama called it "an act of terrorism".  It makes me shutter with dread, I don't want to go to any large events anymore.  What should have been a glorious and triumphant time for the people at the marathon turned into a day of doom and gloom, caused by someone who is a stranger.  Someone who had no regard for human life and yet we are all the same.

Tonight, Tom and I and the kids will go out to dinner and just be thankful that we have each other and that we are still going strong together.  I love Tom more and more every day and in moments such as these tragedies, it brings a sense of community and shows our true nature of how human we can be, families pulled together, strangers rushed to help victims and the essence of our humaness was revealed. The only real message I have is: LOVE. Be thankful for everyone in your life, even those that drive you crazy, because those are the people that challenge you the most and shape your experiences and who you are.  I love my family, that is all.

Imaginitive play

Markus is a very active, creative and funny (oh so funny) kid.  I look at him and think how lucky I am to have such a wonderful boy.  I can't believe at times, his father and I made this boy who has a completely different personality than his dad and myself.  He may have the best parts of both of us. 
Markus will sometimes tell us he is pretending to be sonic, which means faster than the speed of light.  Then he will run back and fourth in our long hallway.  Even when we tell him to do something, he can completely tune us out and do his own thing.  These qualities that I love about him, also can be difficult when trying to get him to focus on a task at hand.  As a stay at home mom, I sometimes, wish that I had other moms to share stories with and get some normalcy in my life.  Perhaps, someone who can relate and tell me that their son does the same thing.  If anything, I think it is wonderful that Markus can go to any kid on the park and introduce himself as "batman" or "spiderman". Yet, my MIL expressed to me some embarrassment when they go to the park and she said the other kids look at him like he is weird, but the older kids are more understanding.  I became very defensive because, first of all, he is a creative kid.  Secondly, I look at is as being the other kids problem because they are just not that creative or they do not know how to play.  Some parents have their kids so busy all the time, that they forget what unstructured play is like, if they have ever had it. Yoshe, my twin sister, an elementary school teacher can go to the park with him and if other kids find it odd, my sister starts to interact with Markus in a very elaborate voice in front of the other children.  Yoshe becomes very animated and shows such charisma, that the other children start to play along and they just needed some help from an adult.  Someone to say, it is okay, we are safe and we just want to play.  But, with my MIL, she is not around kids a lot and does not have the same child like enthusiasm, my twin has.  Admittedly so, I am jealous and wish I had the same positive character and love of life that she has.  She can remain optimistic, even with having basal cell carcinoma.  I will write more about that later, because it is just another worry, but I am there to support my sister in any way I can.
This post is about my 4 yr old son, the most imaginative and creative boy I know.  It begs the question, what is his behavior like at school? would his teachers let me know if there were any problems in his social development? Simply put, is he making friends okay? Does he get along with others? What can I do as a parent to help?
Overall, I have no worries about him.  Most of my worries are about other kids with him.  Markus is such a sweet kid, great with his little sister and not a mean kid.  If there is anything I can say about it, I can' emphasize enough, how he is not a mean kid.  He doesn't have it in him, like some children whose behavior needs to be corrected.  I have seen children not so nice, but they are just children, it could be they have older siblings or their parents speak a certain way to them.  It just needs to be corrected...Oh no, I realize that re-reading this post, I sound like a am a helicopter mom that worries way too much and by all means I don't want to sound like my boy is so great in comparison to anyone else.  If that is what people hear, I am making myself misunderstood.  I was angry at my MIL for not understanding the play of a 4 yr old and for making me doubt a little bit if Markus is any different from other 4 yr old's. I know my son and I love him just the way he is, a friendly, charismatic and high energy kid, just like his crazy aunt Yoshe.  That ain't bad.  I count my blessings every day that I have two healthy and happy kids. It's crazy, how I look at Markus and think he is nothing like me when I was a child.  I was shy and awkward and he is anything but shy.  But, I will save that for another post.