On the House Front

Okay so we decided not to buy the house in Oakville. Tom wants to try to sell this condo first. We are worried that we may be stuck if we bought first and then Tom would have to take another mortgage out. We don't have the money for that. Selling and buying is a risky business in real estate. So far, we have had 6 showings in this condo. We have another two tonight. I am hoping someone is interested and relatively quickly. I don't want to have my baby in this condo.

To my dismay, we discovered after returning home on Friday night from being out because of a showing that the ants are back. We just home that potential condo buyers will not see that and will not be discouraged. I also hope if someone does buy that they will not read the fine print in the contract because it states there is an ant problem in the building. Tom did not read the fine print when he bought this condo.

I just don't understand why the building does not take action. All they have to do is post in the elevators that the exterminators will come in to put some bait down in each apartment. They must do three treatments and the ants will be gone. All we can do in this unit is kill the ones in this unit and wait until they make their way from another unit into our unit again. Pharaoh ants are tricky. The website on pharaoh ants, if interested is: http://pestcontrolcanada.com/INSECTS/pharaoh_ants.htm

Lately, this pregnancy is making me very tired. I threw up my breakfast this morning. I felt better afterwards. I had a sandwich with philadelphia, tomatoes and pepper. That was all I ate at the beginning of my pregnancy and now I can not take philadelphia. Markus was sitting at the table eating his butter and jelly sandwich. He did not see me, thankfully. The tiredness could also be the weather. It has been gray, raining and somedays very cold lately. It is now getting darker earlier. Winter is soon upon us. It actually is not a good time to sell, but I am still hopeful.

We bought our son a piggy bank yesterday at value village. For rewards for good behaviour we will give him a penny. I started him off with three pennies yesterday because of his age. Today, I gave him another 23 cents for putting his clothes away, taking his toys to his room and eating very well. Now, he understands that he will get a reward for good behaviour, helping mom out and this teaches him a little about the word "earning" instead of just getting. I told him that he has to earn the money because he wanted to take it out right away. Then I told him about saving so he can buy something at the store. He said it best when after my long speech, he said "I have to earn money, to save money?!" I responded "yes, that is right!" he said "oh okay". I hugged him, he is such an amazing kid and this new kid will be just as amazing.

Buying a house!!! Yikes, what a huge purchase!!!!

We saw two houses we liked yesterday in Oakville for the second time. They were on the same street, couple of doors down from one another. Markus was asleep the whole time because swimming lessons had tired him out. The layout was pretty much the same. One house had a huge backyard with a swing and slide mounted into the floor. The other had a deck build and was wider but length wise very small and narrow. One had carpet of a bayish colour throughout the house and the other was dark wood flooring. In one the basement was finished, the one with the smaller backyard and in the other, the basement was unfinished. Obviously the house with the carpet, a larger backyard and an unfinished basement was cheaper but only by $5000.00. In this neighbourhood, it can get pretty expensive because of the location. It is close to a grocery store, a splash pad, a park, a recreation centre like the YMCA, still not close enough as in walking distance like it is here for me.

Tom and I discussed putting an offer in for the house with the larger backyard and carpet. Tom can do renovations over time. This place would need a new colour of paint on the walls, why this family chose to do the living room in a dark green, and as you enter the house into the hallway, a light green all the way up the stairs and into the bedroom is beyond me. It looks dark, except the hallway, but not very warm upon entering. So, a lot of work would need to be done. If we stay there over a 10 yr span, they will all get done. I don't know if we could rent the basement like we had originally planned.

We have to still sell this condo, that worries me even more. There is still a lot to be done. Tom needs to paint the bathroom holes that he filled in with white. We need to get rid of the clutter in the bedroom that are his tools. We need to repaint the doors white to make it look new and some of the baseboards as well.

I am excited but a little nervous at the same time because I am familiar with this area now and getting use to a new area is quite challenging. Especially, when i have to gain more confidence with driving. I am also hopeful that after the baby is born, I will find a job, it may be easier in Oakville than in Mississauga. Partially because it is not as big as Mississauga and not as multicultural. At first I will be looking for just a part time job to get back into the working habit, it could be teaching but it might not be. I have to prepare for that.

I had my ultrasound and I am 20 weeks and 5 days pregnant with a girl. So, I have to think of girl names. I haven't a clue. I was thinking Naomi. It is a Jewish, Hebrew name that means beauty, pleasant. Markus knows he will get a sister, but I don't think he cares at this point.

We just got back from his reading group at the library. Markus did not want to participate, it was not his day, so we spent the time outside the room listening to the other kids dance and sing. Markus was happy to sit by the fish and watch them swim. He danced outside a bit to the music, when I asked if he was ready to go back in, he said no. Afterwards, we hung around the library and I read to him, he wanted to put on a puppet show for me with the puppet animals. Then we went to Tim Hortons for lunch and now he is watching T.V. I am tuckered out and I am surprised he is not. I am hoping he will go to bed shortly. I still need to do laundry, which I try to avoid as long as possible, vacuum and clean the floors and clean the kitchen, which will not take me long. The thought of doing it takes longer than actually doing it. It is hard to motivate myself on this cloudy, moist, warm rainy day.

Worried about a friendship

I'm sure many people have had friends that they have not spoken in a very long time and suddenly wonder whatever happened to that person. At a certain point, it may become to awkward to just phone him/her up to see how he/she is. I don't know if it is just women that have this problem or if it is men as well. But, as crazy as it may sound, I wonder if my friend who take care of Markus while I was in teacher's college is trying to "phase" me out of her life. Since I have been back from college, although she lives just around the corner from me, she has not really called or made an effort to get together. She has been great when I told her I was pregnant again. She was encouraging and she said: "Good! get the kids out of the way first before the career. It works better that way." When I was sick, she brought me ginger ale and ginger to sniff, she said it would help the nausea.

However, she has started school part time again, Tuesdays and Thursday evenings. So, I know she is busy. I just thought that her taking care of Markus would have brought us closer together. I thought we would have gotten together a lot more this summer than we actually did. It has been almost a month since last we spoke. The last time was on my birthday. I phoned her up and asked if I could see her. I went over to her place. Markus played with her kids and I hung out for the day before Tom picked me up after work and took me to Red Lobster for my birthday dinner.

She gave me a few things for the new baby and an old tricycle for Markus that used to be her son's.

My husband and I were lying in bed last night talking about this. He thinks that if she does not call me I should just call her. He is right. But I wonder if women do have this thing such as "phasing" someone out. The last few conversations we have had have been about religion and I know she has a bit of a problem with Tom and I being atheists. I have no problem with her being Catholic. I guess I learned that we can not have debates about religion, not with her. She takes it very seriously and does not listen to other people's opinion. Her mother died of cancer when she was a teenager, so whenever we have tried to have reasonable discussions about religion, she brings up her dead mother. As soon as that happens, the conversation is dead, it is over. How can you argue with reason, logic vs emotions. There are two arguments to this debate, one is emotional and one is based on logic. From an emotional stand point, I too can see how it is easier to cope in life with the belief in God, especially when thinking about loved ones that we have lost. In any case, I feel guilty having had these discussions with her and wish that I would have kept my mouth shut when the topic of religion came up.

On the other hand she could just be busy and waiting for me to call her. She also has a lot more friends than I do, having gone to school, being raised and growing up in Mississauga. She has mept most of her high school friends. There is history. I just have a hand full of friends. Most of my friends are just acquaintances. The ones I have met in Mississauga, either live in my building and have children my age. It is nice to get out once in a while and have an adult conversation. This friend got to know me a bit more than the rest of the people that I have met and I considered her a true friend. Now I am not so sure. Someone with a ton of friends does not always have time for outsiders like myself.

Tom said he would call them up tonight and make a play date for Markus and her kids, so I can have some alone time. I think that would be good. I want Markus to be with friends as well. I know chances are that Markus will not have the same friends through out his life. People come and go and some are just speed bumps a long the way. In your life for a certain time period, taught you some lessons, had a good time but it runs it's course and new people come along. If one is really lucky, the friendships will last forever, although it is rare. I feel my friendships with my friend in Boston and one in Oshawa will last forever. I have known them since high school and they are the only ones I keep in touch with.

I do miss this friend and maybe I build her up and made her out to be something she is not and now the rose coloured glasses are coming off. Or maybe, she really is just busy and there will be a time we will see each other soon again. For now, I miss her, but I can't control my environment and I just have to let things run their course.

Being a stay at home mom, I do tend to focus on friendships and not just mine, but for my son as well. I almost feel like in high school again when these things mattered. Now, they don't, but they do at the same time in a very different way. I miss her, that is my point.

Life as of now: the ups and the downs

Since teacher's college, the days seem to pass very quickly. Although, I am not working, I seem to be very busy as my son Markus is growing everyday and I need to fill up my schedule for of activities to prepare him for kindergarten next year. I joined the YMCA, a few blocks away from our condo. He goes to a toddler gym on Monday mornings for three hours. There is a slide, arts and crafts and in the gym, they put out activities that will enhance motor skills such as tricycles, hula hoops, stepping stones, steering cars, jump ropes etc. On Monday and Tuesday nights, he goes to preschool dance, where they learn the chicken dance, jump around on one foot and run around in a circle. However, Markus does not follow instruction. Instead, he runs from one end of the gym to the other, with a big smile on his face. When the kids are running in a circle in one direction, he will run in a circle the opposite direction. As long as he is having fun at this point. He just turned three so I am hoping it will all change within a few months and as he gets use to the routine. On Wednesday, later in the day, I take him to swimming lessons. Although, there is a retractable floor, where they bring the floor up to the kids level, so they can stand, I get very nervous. Markus is still the smallest kid in the class of 5 others. The water just goes below his mouth. He is afraid to put his head under water or trust the instructor. He just basically watches, but still enjoys himself and loves going. On Thursdays, I take him to reading group at the library. I am trying to work on encouraging him to read and develop of love for reading. The kids have a story read to them, they play games and have song a dance. This is all guided instruction, which Markus does really well at. Tomorrow will be his second class, so we will see how he does. And Friday's is our free day, in which I may go shopping and do some chores or just sleep.

I am reading a book called "Raising Lifelong Learners"....I was interrupted, Markus said he needed a diaper. I looked over and he had peed in the potty. Yay! I was going to write that potty training has been a slow process, but he is getting it....Back to the book, it states that the way to encourage children to love reading is by reading with them, not just at night but throughout the day and let children develop their own stories, even though they are not reading the words, they are looking at the pictures and retelling the stories in their own way. Retelling a story is actually a skill and promotes fluency in reading later on in life. This was the purpose of getting Markus to join a reading group. He also loves being amongst other children and adapts very well to new situations. Yesterday, for example at the library, Markus was on the computer having a story read to him. Another boy, wanted to sit where he was and came up to Markus and hit Markus to get off the chair. As a parent, the first thing I want to do is intervene, but I held myself back. Markus stayed firm on his chair and with a smile on his face he said "Don't hit me!". He took the boys hand and gently put it to his side. The boy looked my way and took a minute to think. Then, he grabbed another chair and sat beside Markus and they talked, laughed and listened together to the story.

So, there is my schedule. However, some may wonder about whether I found a job or not since I did go to teacher's college. I got pregnant again right after teacher's college. I find myself being more sick with this pregnancy than with Markus. I am almost 20 weeks pregnant, I will find out next week whether I will have a boy or a girl. I am nervous and I feel very defensive lately because many people may shake their heads and think that it was a mistake to have gotten pregnant right away out of teacher's college. My twin sister did and a friend of the families told me upon his return from Ireland: "I think it was a mistake to have gotten pregnant!". Well, my response is...ok...but it is easy to plan an education, one fills out the forms and starts in September. There is a start date and an end date. However, with pregnancy it never happens according to plan. Some people try for years and never conceive and others conceive right away and never intended to, some conceive while using preventative methods. There is never a good time to have children but one rolls with it and takes what comes and when it comes. That is the beauty of life. Not always having control over every aspect of life teaches one valuable lessons, one would hope. So, to the friend of the families, Frank, I say you never had children, and can not possible understand, so think it but please don't say what you don't understand.

I am excited but scared to have two. I feel down a lot more and I think it may be hormonal as well, I am just really sensitive lately. But, I will love my children, that is for sure.

So, wow it is now 11:17 and already it seems like my morning flew by. This is what I mean by life seems to go very fast lately.

It will go faster, now that Tom is working on fixing up the condo and we have started looking to buy houses in Oakville. Our condo is too small for a family of four. These are exciting, yet nerve wrecking times.