Thursday, March 28, 2013
Sonja's birthday
Sonja turned one on March 1st. We celebrated it on Saturday March 2. It was a small get together with just family and that included my brother in laws parents as well. Sonja didn't know what to expect. It was a lot of attention. At one point I felt sick and dizzy, so I went upstairs and my sister and mother in law held the fort. We ate chilli in chiabatta bread and salad. I also made a hello kitty cake. Here are just a few pictures.
It's okay for kids to be bored.
Lately, I have worried about how many friends my son should have at his age. I also worry with my daughter, Sonja walking now at 12 months and paying attention to everything, that perhaps I should make some play dates for her. I have checked meet up websites for groups in the area. But, all the groups are in Oakville, Burlington and Hamilton, Toronto. I do not have a car most of the time and buses in Milton come once every hour if that and take forever to get anywhere. I guess there is not a big need for public transportation in Milton. With all my worries about friendships and my kids getting bored, I was glad to come across an article that was sent to my facebook from the MCRC, that experts say that boredom is good for kids. Out of boredom, comes creativity. Kids have to learn how to entertain themselves at times. We choose the t.v, phones, ipads, video games by default. But, if those things are not available, kids may surprise you and come up with something on their own to keep them busy. I was shocked when Markus asked me to paint yesterday. Of course, it lasted all of 5 minutes and set up was 15 minutes, but I am glad he asked. It let me know that he is able to hold a paint brush. I love art, especially acrylic on canvas. So, I have been trying to get him to do art projects since he was 12 months and he never seemed interested. Sonja, on the other hand, loves painting. I can give her a paint brush and she knows right away, it does not go in her mouth but on the paper. For her, she lasted about 10 minutes before paint started to go on the table, floors and chairs and her clothes.
I went off topic a little bit, but I started to wonder: what is this obsession parents have with keeping their kids busy all the time, through programs such as sports, music, dance, drama, camps etc? which all cost a lot of money. Some can not even afford it. I understand swimming lessons because it is a safety issue. Providing kids with a lot of opportunities to be a part of a social setting is also very important for social development and motor skills. But, why do parents feel that their child has to be ahead of everyone else? Why does one parents child need to be able to count to 100 or ride a two wheeler at the age of 4, when most 4 yr olds ride three wheelers or can only count to 20 or 30? While all of this is important for child development, I think kids need down time as well, to sit and do nothing. The article, made me feel a lot better has a parent and made me think that I worry too much. My son is getting older, he will make his own friends soon enough and we have a park right outside. The weather has been awful and so everyone has been stuck inside, but with spring coming, I am sure he will meet a lot of new kids and see many old faces from last summer again. I can't protect my son or daughter from rejection or hurt and I can only try to fight bullying, if it happens to them. I guess I worry because I project my own feelings from when I was a child. I was bullied a lot at school. I never realized how much it would all come back to me, once my kids started going to school. My bullying started, when we moved to another school in grade 3. We lived in a lower income area and kids were just not very friendly. We went to Trillium public school and it is a poorly rated school. So, my kids are not me, they have different parents, different experiences already and my kids have a lot more than I have ever had. So my husband assures me that we are doing fine and our kids are doing fine.
So, I may be a little scattered in my thoughts, but I am just writing to get everything out. The main worry for me is friendships and how many friends 4 yr olds should have and bullying, which many parents worry about once their children start school.
Already, I look at Markus and Sonja and think they are beautiful and doing fine, why am I worrying. Markus can go up to anyone and start talking and if they do not talk back, he does not take it personally, he goes on to the next kid, until eventually he will find someone that will be more than happy to play with him. Sonja started walking at 11 months and is always smiling and following her brother around and paying attention to everything. She waves and hugs and kisses and gives high fives. What more could I ask for. As a parent, I need to just go along with their growing and developing personalities and if they fall, let them know I am always here to help and stand by them no matter what. I don't think my parents worried about my sister and I as much as my generation now worry about their kids. When I was Markus's age, I was going with my sister alone to the park. I was walking to kindergarten and back, it was 5 minutes away. But, today, the world we grew up in is much different. Parents worry about child abductions. So, parents are more a step behind their kids today than when I was a kid. My husband took two buses and a subway all by himself to get to grade 1, a private school in Montreal. Today, I would not imagine letting Markus do that. Tom's parents kick themselves and can't believe they let him do that back then. So, with newer technology and the world changing, I don't think it is a safer world. With the internet, it just means another thing for parents to worry about so bullying can't happen online. So, it may not have been safer back then either but it was perceived that way because we didn't have the internet to worry about or cell phones etc.
Okay, I have rambled on about a lot of things in one post. it is enough to make anyone's head spin, so I will stop writing and just say, that it is okay to do nothing with your kids and enjoy them as they are and in the moment.
I went off topic a little bit, but I started to wonder: what is this obsession parents have with keeping their kids busy all the time, through programs such as sports, music, dance, drama, camps etc? which all cost a lot of money. Some can not even afford it. I understand swimming lessons because it is a safety issue. Providing kids with a lot of opportunities to be a part of a social setting is also very important for social development and motor skills. But, why do parents feel that their child has to be ahead of everyone else? Why does one parents child need to be able to count to 100 or ride a two wheeler at the age of 4, when most 4 yr olds ride three wheelers or can only count to 20 or 30? While all of this is important for child development, I think kids need down time as well, to sit and do nothing. The article, made me feel a lot better has a parent and made me think that I worry too much. My son is getting older, he will make his own friends soon enough and we have a park right outside. The weather has been awful and so everyone has been stuck inside, but with spring coming, I am sure he will meet a lot of new kids and see many old faces from last summer again. I can't protect my son or daughter from rejection or hurt and I can only try to fight bullying, if it happens to them. I guess I worry because I project my own feelings from when I was a child. I was bullied a lot at school. I never realized how much it would all come back to me, once my kids started going to school. My bullying started, when we moved to another school in grade 3. We lived in a lower income area and kids were just not very friendly. We went to Trillium public school and it is a poorly rated school. So, my kids are not me, they have different parents, different experiences already and my kids have a lot more than I have ever had. So my husband assures me that we are doing fine and our kids are doing fine.
So, I may be a little scattered in my thoughts, but I am just writing to get everything out. The main worry for me is friendships and how many friends 4 yr olds should have and bullying, which many parents worry about once their children start school.
Already, I look at Markus and Sonja and think they are beautiful and doing fine, why am I worrying. Markus can go up to anyone and start talking and if they do not talk back, he does not take it personally, he goes on to the next kid, until eventually he will find someone that will be more than happy to play with him. Sonja started walking at 11 months and is always smiling and following her brother around and paying attention to everything. She waves and hugs and kisses and gives high fives. What more could I ask for. As a parent, I need to just go along with their growing and developing personalities and if they fall, let them know I am always here to help and stand by them no matter what. I don't think my parents worried about my sister and I as much as my generation now worry about their kids. When I was Markus's age, I was going with my sister alone to the park. I was walking to kindergarten and back, it was 5 minutes away. But, today, the world we grew up in is much different. Parents worry about child abductions. So, parents are more a step behind their kids today than when I was a kid. My husband took two buses and a subway all by himself to get to grade 1, a private school in Montreal. Today, I would not imagine letting Markus do that. Tom's parents kick themselves and can't believe they let him do that back then. So, with newer technology and the world changing, I don't think it is a safer world. With the internet, it just means another thing for parents to worry about so bullying can't happen online. So, it may not have been safer back then either but it was perceived that way because we didn't have the internet to worry about or cell phones etc.
Okay, I have rambled on about a lot of things in one post. it is enough to make anyone's head spin, so I will stop writing and just say, that it is okay to do nothing with your kids and enjoy them as they are and in the moment.
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