Things have a way of working out, for sure....that's awesome!!!!

On Saturday, I was on the phone with my dad. I feel kind of silly now, looking back. At that moment, even though I have to constantly struggle to stay positive, I started complaining to my dad and feeling sorry for myself. I was complaining about how life is not fair. I applied for teachers college at the same time as my identical twin sister. She was accepted and I was not. I applied at the same time as my brother in law, he was accepted and I was not. Too top it off, there was a miscommunication with the woman I sit for and she only wanted to pay $3.00/hr for her child. When I start babysitting her 8 yr old daughter as well, she would like to pay $20.00/day for both children. Therefore, I am getting a lot less than most daycare providers and I did not get paid as much as I thought I would on Friday. In any case, the list went on of the number of things that I felt were not fair to me. Of course, my dad who is on disability, whom I never had a great relationship with was just happy that I was talking to him. He loves to know that he can help me. However, he got frustrated because he felt I was not listening to his advice. At that moment of heightened anxiety and frustration, Tom and Markus walked in from checking the mail box and Tom dropped a huge envelope in my lap. It was from Western University. They were offering my a placement in their faculty of education program for september. Upon opening the letter, my heart was racing. I only read the first line that stated: "we are pleased to offer you....." I burst into tears. I was sobbing loudly. My dad was on the other end of the line shouting "What!!!!! What happened!!!" Through tears, I told him I was accepted and that I was so sorry for complaining. It is easy to feel down all the time and as if life has not been kind. I felt so guilty and I decided to start anew on Sunday. This is a good thing and these happy, exciting moments are unfortunately the moments we forget. I wanted to write this moment down as a reminder to hold on to it and cherish the good that does happen. Now, there is a lot more worries that come with being accepted like finding a place to live, applying for osap, worrying about practicum placement, worrying about what will happen with Markus, etc. However, just for that moment that I saw the letter, I need to remember how I felt. These are one of the few times in life where I can truly sit back and say...Awesome!

On sunday, Tom wanted to take me to Benh Thang, a vietnamese restaurant. We used to go to one in Cambridge all the time. We recently found one in Mississauga and we were so happy. It was a celebratory lunch for getting accepted. Afterwards, he was going to go to the library and work on his application idea that he wants to create for the Imac computer. I cleaned a little and then when the library closed, we were going to go grocery shopping. Instead, his parents called last minute, asking if they could come over. There goes that anxiety again. Calm down my beating heart. I had no food to offer. Tom told them that all we could offer was coffee or tea. They brought bread, strawberries, grapes and cheeses. So we had coffee with sandwiches. Christina, my MIL wanted to buy Markus sandals for our trip to Germany. So off we went to the shopping mall across the street, Square one, which some people say is the second largest mall in Canada. However, that is not true. The one in Vancouver is. In any case, she bought him a very nice pair of blue sandals, with a turtle on the top. His parents also went to Eddie bower to buy me a top, that I would never buy for myself because it is ridiculously expensive. My first clothing item from an expensive clothing store, that's not vintage. They wanted to do something nice for me to show support with me going to teacher's college. I really love his parents. I am not always sure how to talk to them or how to act because they are quite conservative and even Tom has admitted that he does not know either. He was always worried about pleasing them and to this day still is because he feels that they are critical of many things. I do see it, but they are very loving people who always wanted the best for their children.

Monday morning, Christian and Markus are tearing the couches apart. As long as they are laughing and I do not hear screaming as of yet, I am good to continue writing. I am also going to babysit my friend, Magda's children for a few hours, while she gets her hair done. She has a 2 yr old Charlie, who is not very social. He likes to watch a lot of tv and be by himself. Her daughter Madelaine is 3, soon to be 4. She is very hyperactive and I like to call her the informer. She will tell on everyone, sure enough none of the other children will be able to do anything without her knowing and telling an adult what the others are doing. It will be a crazy day, but I am up for it.

I was just thinking, how much I love my husband. He is the best!!!!We fight, but when push comes to shove, he is really there for me when I need him the most. I am lucky to have him as my best friend and everything. He is more on the quite side sometimes, which I wish he would just initiate conversation sometimes, because I don't always know what to say either. But, that's him and I love him anyway. Today's a good day.