I applied for teachers college, my third year in a row. I did not get in, except I got onto the waiting list for one. I was disappointed because the second time I applied, I did get in but I got pregnant. The best surprise I have ever been given. I had the most beautiful boy in the world. The decision to not go at that time and stay home with my newborn was the best decision at the time. I got to enjoy, spend time with and bond with my son. He is now 20 months. He is very active and happy. Smiling and laughing all the time. It is hard to imagine that when motherhood is getting more rewarding and enjoyable as he gets older that maternity is only 1 yr. I think maternity should be 2 years, he needs me more now than before. He always wants to talk to me and he follows me around the condo, as I do my chores singing to me or talking to me in his baby talk that I understand completely. If I leave for a moment, he cries. When he smiles at me and says "hiiiiiiiiiii" very loudly, my heart melts. However, the reality is that maternity is only 1 yr and it is hard because you can't get unemployment because you used it up on maternity leave and the old job won't give your job back. On the other hand, you did not make enough anyway to support daycare costs so you would be working to have someone else play "mommy" to your child. This is a never ending dilemma that I know many women know well.
In any case, this year I have to wait to see if I actually get accepted to teachers college. At the same time I question if this is something I really want to do. My twin sister is a teacher. We applied the first time at the same time. She got in and I did not. She was also among the very few that got a teaching position straight out of college out of pure luck, literally. She walked into the wrong interview. The position was for a French teacher. We do not speak French. They realized their mistake, but liked her so hired her anyway. Most people out of college have to supply teach for years before a position becomes available. My sister teaches grade 8 and she says that unfortunately no one is in teaching for the kids anymore. She hates her class.
When I found out I was pregnant with my son, she was soooooo jealous. She had been married for 9 years and had no children. I was only with my boyfriend for one year. We married when I was 7 months pregnant. I bought my wedding dress at Fairweather for $100.00. I am proud of that. It was a prom dress really, but the flowing white dress looked great on a pregnant woman. I guess the point is to tell you that my sister and her husband started trying for a child as soon as she heard I was pregnant. They had difficulty. She ended up going to a fertility specialist that diagnosed her with having Anovulation, which is very common in woman, 10% of women have it. They put her on medication and she is now pregnant. She goes for her first ultra sound April 19th. After two years of trying. I am so happy for her. She no longer has to be jealous that I have a son. I am still envious that she is a teacher, when I wanted it at the same time. this is 5 years later and I am still trying.
I don't want to sound like I am complaining. I am not, I love my life now and I love my son, sister and husband. Things are as they should be. However, I always thought in my 30's I would have it all figured out. The journey never ends, we just get better at being more decisive about what it is we want.
My son woke up and is crying, so I have to sign off. I would love to hear other stories as well.
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