Every year I make New Years Resolutions. And, every year I break them. This year, I have composed a list of resolutions and my goal is to stick to at least not breaking three of them.
1. Lose 10 Lbs. I know this is a common one. I am sure it will be number one on a lot of people's list because of all the chocolate and binging and drinking done over the holidays. But, I would feel better physically and emotionally if I lost some weight. Sometimes running after a toddler is not enough.
2. Spend less time on facebook. I post a lot of pictures of my kids. Every day I post something. Whether it is them reading on the couch, modelling a new outfit or eating snow, I post it. People don't care about my pictures. I also don't want to reveal too much on facebook. I find facebook is a way to connect people. But that connection is only on the surface. There is nothing real there. Sure it makes me feel good when a picture gets a few likes. However, I want to spend more time interacting with my kids than showing people what a great mom I am by posting all these happy photos. Meanwhile, it is not always happy in our household.
3. Stop yelling. I get frustrated very easily and my voice gets louder. I want to try to keep control of my emotions. Try to remain in control when my 5 yr old is pushing my buttons. When I am angry with my husband, walk away and come back to the conversation at a better suited time. I have to work on my anger and how I react to things. I know this also is because I am an anxious person. I will try to think before I speak.
4. Hug my kids often and listen. Really really listen...in the moment. Being completely with them. My kids are my world. My life. They are the air I breath. They make me laugh by the funny things they say and do. They make me cry when they are so amazingly sweet and tell me they love me and when they just won't listen...those moments are the moments books are made off. Every story has a problem. So does ours. It is how we handle it that makes the story so great or not so great. I think I can keep this New Years Resolution!
Finally 5. Relax and take time for myself. I often expect my husband to give me time and voluntarily take the kids so I can take a bath or what not. However, when he doesn't, I get frustrated. I think in my head I need a break, I need to calm down, I need to take a bath. Yet, I do not say this to my husband. I am thinking this while loading the dishwasher, cleaning the living rook, my kids faces, the mess from dinner on the table, sweeping the floors, getting garbage ready for garbage pick up. Meanwhile, my husband is reading with Markus or playing video games. One hour turns into two hours, and I am still doing stuff. Two hours turns into three and then I look like the bad cop because I put the breaks on daddy and me time, so that we can get them into a bath and ready for bed at a decent time. By 10pm, kids are sleeping and I never got my bath and I have to make Markus's lunch for school the next day. I am feeling frustrated with my husband. Then I am exhausted and I go to bed just to do the same things over again the next day. So...ask my husband to watch the kids. Stop thinking about cleaning and get some ME time, so that I feel nicer in an hour or two.
I hope everyone had a great Christmas and a Happy New Year. It is a chance to start fresh and hopefully build new relationships and build bridges with old ones and put bad feelings aside. I am speaking from experience, my twin sister has threatened to cut all ties with me. I am grieving and trying to prevent that from happening. That is another story. One that will wait because I am too upset to write about it and it is fresh. It makes me cry to think of a life without my twin!!!! Hopefully, we can find our way back to one another.
What are some of your New Years Resolutions?
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