On Markus's 2nd birthday, we went to their house for a bbq and I invited my family. What a mistake that was!!!!! My sister who is pregnant came and the FIL did not say hello or congratulate my sister on being pregnant or buying a house. He also avoided my dad. He sat at the opposite end of the yard. My dad had to take his disabled body and chair and move it to the end of the backyard so that he could start a conversation with Mr bully man (my fil). Thanks dad, for trying for me and for your grandson. Well, my FIL talked to my brother in law about computer stuff, but he did not mention the fact that my brother in law is going to be a dad. He just used my brother in law for computer information. He also gave my sister dirty looks all day. He was an asshole. My sister came in and said hi to all of us and my mil and sil congratulated her, but after they were gone, they asked me what the name of the baby would be. I mean my sister was right there. My sil left for the entire duration of the bbq and went upstairs she is 24. She is a very immature girl. She is mature for a 10 yr old but not for a 24 yr old woman. Her parents have crippled her and made her so reliant instead of self sufficient. They try to do that with my husband as well, because he always says I don't enjoy spending time with them but I use them for stuff so we have to go over there for that stuff for the car etc. I say buy your own tools, don't use them then. I came home after my son's birthday and I cried with how rude my fil was being and how he could not see past himself for the sake of his grandson. I felt that I don't want my son to have that much contact with them because I don't want him to grow up mean. My fil once told my sister when I was pregnant that people who do not have children are selfish. Now that my sister is pregnant he can't get over his own selfishness to congratulate her. Nice!!!! I hate this family for making me cry so many times and I hate my husband for not setting boundaries earlier. My mil tried to breastfeed my son, I wanted to kill her, I gave her a look that would kill. I did not allow my son to stay there that often anymore. Now, the way his dad treated my twin sister was horrible. I can't stand him. The week after, my husband went to his parents alone, while I went with my son and dad to wings of paradise conservatory. My husband told them how I felt, but not completely on what happened with my sister. I want him to go again this week end and tell them how much it hurt me, what he said to his dad was that he did not say hi to my sister at all. I can handle that, I can't handle the dirty looks, the mocking and the not saying congratulations to a pregnant woman who will be giving my son a cousin. If he can not even think about his grand son then I don't want him around my son. To be around my son, they have to put him first and not themselves.
This week end, it has been one month since I have seen them, so I may let my husband take our son, but I am nervous and apprehensive because I want my husband to be around our son at all times and monitor their interaction with him, do not let his mother take my son into rooms privately like she so often does. His mother has been competing with me since I had him. I secretly wish that they were not around, they would move far away. Yesterday, my husband said that there are people he would wish death upon, I said that was horrible, I wish death on nobody, secretly, i wouldn't mind it on his dad. His dad is so mean.
Anyway, I have a week and a have before school starts. Orientation begins on the 2nd of Sept. I am nervous as hell. It ends on the 3rd and then school actually begins on the 7th. I can't wait for this to be done with. It is only 8 months, I tell myself. I will see my son every week end. I can't control whether my husband allows him to see the grandparents. I don't trust them so no over night visits until my son gets old enough to say so.
My friend is pregnant again with her third. I am a bit jealous but so happy for her. I want to get school done with, get a job and get pregnant again and have a child before the age of 34. That is my plan and sell the condo in the process. I want two children. I couldn't imagine my life only having one. If I was younger, I would have more because I like the big family idea but nowadays that is just an ideology. Those happy big families rarely exist these days, everyone is faced with insecurities and doubt and fear of what's to come. There is no stability anymore.
With hating my in laws, I am excited for the future and moving away from them.
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