What kind of Mother am I?

In the midst of all the chaos of driving to London to find housing, putting my schedule together, which was tedious, long and boring, it took all day yesterday and realizing that Markus needs to stay with Tom for the first little while because it is difficult to find daycare. I wonder what kind of mother am I to leave my child and husband so I can go to teacher's college. I wish I had the answers, what do other mother's do? I do not want to be influenced by my parents in law, they would like Markus to live with them. I think Tom is capable, but he has a short temper and that worries me a great deal. On the other hand, without my involvement or that of his mother, he could form a closer bond with Markus and surprise all of us by being super dad. We have decided that for the first little while, Markus stays with Tom and if Tom ever feels overwhelmed and needs a break, he can come to stay with me for a week. By that time, I may meet other mothers and find a friend like Magda that would be willing to help me out.

I already agreed to a place that is 450/month, 5 minute walking distance to the school. However, I would have to ask the other students if it would be okay with a child there once in a while. I may back out of it now. I also found another place, 375/month, but it is a 10 min bus ride, but they do not mind a child being there from time to time, so I may just go there instead. I will perhaps see it on the week end.

I just wish I had other mother's to talk to, what do other mother's do? Spending two years with my son and then just leaving, it will be a big change for him and myself. Will he be okay? will I? will I get a job afterwards, where I can say I did this all for him and to have a more secure and stable life? so many questions, but no answers right now.